Big 12 agrees to shove Monster Energy logo in everybody’s face

The Big 12 announced an agreement this week that, in a sane world, would be so roundly dismissed as embarrassing that the league would have to walk it back. But this is college sports in the we-need-every-cent-possible era, and so we have “Monster Energy Big 12 Football” and “Monster Energy Big 12 Basketball.”

Big 12 commissioner Brett Yormark, the kind of fellow who clearly would be open to getting a casino’s website tattooed on his forehead for a fair price, is the mastermind behind this plan to put the world’s most garish logo on every Big 12 football and basketball court, every football and basketball uniform, and the rest of us must at least tangentially endure this crime.

The windfall for this affront to the dignity of 16 institutions is a meager $20 million, which is to say that this is an utterly pointless move, the equivalent of agreeing to spray paint DUNCE on your shirt for a nickel.

Schools and leagues have been given the green flag to go to whatever lengths they deem acceptable to add more revenue, all in the name of staying competitive on the field—a cudgel they will continue to use to justify their avarice, even and especially in objectively stupid cases like this one. What does the $1 million per-school payout of the Monster deal actually do for anybody in that league? Refurbish half a locker room?

Obviously, any opportunity to set a new, unpleasant precedent in college sports simply cannot be passed up, even if the cost is your dignity for pennies on the dollar. I can’t wait to see what they sell next!